early morning. driving the long distance to meet my brother and sister, where we continued on to our mother's. today is the day we'll look for her new home. we have brochures of palm terrace and lake forest. we each have our own reactions, my sister is grumpy, my brother is quiet, and i can't stop playing pictures in my head of us, our lives. and i'm not really looking at what the kind director is saying or pointing out to us. this doesn't fit.
the heat, the fire
mid afternoon and the long drive home looms. didn't eat yet today and i'm sorry now since my energy is low and i've hours to go. but i don't care, i just want to get home. bye sister, bye brother, our bond is familiar, comforting, painful.
flashing traffic signs bring me to the present. FIRE. a brush fire at calabasas. that is miles away and the speed i was already traveling at was less than ten miles per hour. it's going to be a lot longer drive than i imagined.
a million thoughts later, i creep by the fire. two lanes have been blocked to allow for the many emergency vehicles. the fire came down to the road.
why i'll never complain about fog again.
sitting in nearly ninety degree heat, feeling trapped and worried while in the fire zone, i laughed at myself. i have been over the fog for weeks now. begging the sun to appear.
i thought the sun was my home. but here, the fog felt familiar. welcoming.
the sun is my home, but the fog is too. and i think maybe the fog is even keeping wildfires from spreading around these drying hills.