Tuesday, September 27, 2011
on holy ground
'Walking with loved ones as they approach death is a sacred time. Your hands, your touch, your care are instruments of God's presence. Your voice allows your loved one to trust so he or she can move into a new relationship with God. You are standing on holy ground.'
my mother is dying. yesterday we met with hospice as all her family gathered one by one around her. we had to discuss those things i never wanted to before. my sister my stepdad and i. we took decisions on her behalf, she can't see or speak anymore.
they came, the aunties and grandchildren, the cousins and friends. each saying in his or her own way, goodbye. my sister and i sat each on the side of her bed, holding her hands and made promises to her, those things a mother would want, need to hear. we'll take care of each other, she'd never have to worry.
hospice told us maybe a week more, maybe tonight. i foolishly thought i'd been prepared, this has been a long grief filled road. but now, holding my mothers wisp of a hand, i know i've a ways to go.
this is the hardest thing for me to write about. but it's too much a part of my life (it is my life) to not be open about here. i began this blog for my mom, 3 years ago, when alzheimer's was taking her farther and farther away from us. my stepdad would bring up my blog on their computer and set her in front of it, and she would read. after a time she would not be able to read anymore, but just look at the photos. for a long time now, she hasn't looked at all. somehow i know she would be okay with me writing this. she always felt that everything i did was brilliant. just like a mother tends to do.